No New Friends

No new friends used to be my mantra (let me stop and give credit to Drake).  In essence, I agreed with the sediment that new friends were not as loyal as my peeps from way back.  But, what I've learned is my friendships with my girls have changed over time and new friends are necessary. 

Friendship is an important function in my life  My friends bring a sense of purpose, helps me refocus, our my nurturers and most of all are always prepared to keep me humble.  They see me better than I see myself on any good day.  Friendship is a beautiful union that has kept me sane for so many years.  However, as we get older the dynamics of the relationship changes.  Some friends are married, moved away, starting having children, changing careers, religions etc. and with these changes impact our ability to relate to one another.

I don't know what it feels like to nurse a baby, or move to another country, but I do know what it feels like to spend hours at end trying to research a conceptual framework.  The effortlessness of a friendship goes away when the core things which connected us are no longer true can make a considerable difference. What keeps the friendship going though, is the love and respect for one another. 

Here's where new friends are important.  New friends give you an opportunity to connect with people who you can relate to currently.  New friends provide a community and support which are crucial for anyone's mental health.  However, in order to connect to a new person, there is some risk. 

New friends don't understand your nuances or at least they don't have the context years of friendship provide.  So, new friends while important can be tricky.  When you get to be a woman of a certain age you want to be comfortable in your skin, so friends need to be supportive in that regard.  In the end, no new friends cannot be a hard fast rule because there's nothing more enjoyable than girl time.