I have never been a big risk taker, ever. However, this week at a work conference I realized glaringly how true this observation is for me. Throughout the week I watched as my colleagues networked and went to dinners with complete strangers or walked ahead of a group to get service when there was a clear line. These behaviors while small made me realize how much I have fashioned my life into following the rules and not causing waves. Initially, I thought there's no way this could be true, maybe I'm over thinking, because I'm inquisitive, I ALWAYS have questions. But, asking questions isn't the same as doing things that make me uncomfortable.
After lots of consideration I realized not taking risks protects me from failure, rejection and disappointment. I do what's comfortable because I have a good idea of the outcome and staying in my lane allows for some control. If I could insert an eye roll I would here. I know intellectually that I don't control anything in my life, but I live my life by making strategic choices to mitigate negative consequences. Hence, why I don't take risks. Would my life be different if I started taking risks? Maybe not, but I would rather find out and move beyond a controlled life where I always weigh how uncomfortable I will be if I do this thing. I want to fully enjoy life and not be paralyzed from failing at new or different things. I want to stop living in my head and well actually live. Don't worry I won't break any laws, but I do intend to explore and test some boundaries I've installed over the years for myself. Wish me luck!
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